I know it may be hard to believe, but I've discovered people are different (ok, duh). But really, one of the biggest things I have learned since being with Ross is how differently we handle arguments.
Last night, on our way home from Ryan and Susannah's, we got in a stupid argument. But we argued about it because we are both stubborn, it was 1 a.m. and I was tipsy, making me in all honesty, that much more stubborn. Again, I reiterate that this was a dumb argument and nothing that will matter long-term at all.
But consequently we went to bed annoyed with each other. I woke up just fine. Not worried about the night before at all. I still stood by my opinion from the night before but realized how little it mattered and how much energy fighting took. Ross woke up still irritated. This boggles me. Still mad overnight over something so silly? It just takes him longer to shake things off than it does me.
I say I can shake it off quickly because I am resilient. Ross says I'm moody. He says going from irritated to happy and lovey in no time flat is just plain moody. I say staying irritated is exhausting. Either way, we are who we are. I have to give him his space to be irritated and not take it too personally. He has, to his credit, done a great job of getting over things quicker than he used to.
And we both have to remember not to pick stupid fights at 1 a.m. Its just foolish. I'm sure we'll outgrow it; we have already gotten smarter about it and we've been together less than two years.
Speaking of that, yup, we've still not even reached the two year mark. I think for having been together for 20 months, we've grown quite a bit. Even just since moving in together almost a year ago we've learned so much about each other and function so much better. We really are a little family now. I know we aren't perfect but dang, I think we are getting close. :)
Mar 15, 2009
Mar 14, 2009
Ring ring ring!
My honey works hard. Last night he worked at the bar for 9 hours even though he's not quite over the flu. I know its hard to be on his feet, serving people, being pleasant for that long. I saw people argue over the check with him while I was there having a couple drinks. That's not easy. It's not the exact career he wants (ie he isn't running into burning buildings) but its paying the bills and he's working hard. I really appreciate how hard he is working to keep us in the black and to start saving for our long-term goals, like a beautiful house.
And because I love him so much, today we went shopping for his wedding ring. I was ready to visit Zales, James Avery and Helzburg. But he's a man; he knows what he wants and once he found it no reason to keep looking. (As a side note, this works well for me. He knows he wants me and he doesn't need to keep looking; I like it that way.) We walked into one store and while I chatted with the salesman, looked at a few rings out of curiosity, Ross looked quietly. When he pointed to one he liked that was it. He tried it on and said that was it. All done. It even fit! Didn't even need to resize it. Its a dark silvery charcoaly color band. Its not perfectly plain, the middle of it stands slightly higher than the sides to create a banded look. I really like it but most importantly, he likes it. I asked if he would wear it 2 out of every 3 days for the rest of his life and he said yes. (2 out of 3!? you say? He cannot wear it firefighting which will be the other day out of every 3.)
All three rings are now in our possession. 1 engagement ring and 2 wedding rings. Ring ring ring!
And because I love him so much, today we went shopping for his wedding ring. I was ready to visit Zales, James Avery and Helzburg. But he's a man; he knows what he wants and once he found it no reason to keep looking. (As a side note, this works well for me. He knows he wants me and he doesn't need to keep looking; I like it that way.) We walked into one store and while I chatted with the salesman, looked at a few rings out of curiosity, Ross looked quietly. When he pointed to one he liked that was it. He tried it on and said that was it. All done. It even fit! Didn't even need to resize it. Its a dark silvery charcoaly color band. Its not perfectly plain, the middle of it stands slightly higher than the sides to create a banded look. I really like it but most importantly, he likes it. I asked if he would wear it 2 out of every 3 days for the rest of his life and he said yes. (2 out of 3!? you say? He cannot wear it firefighting which will be the other day out of every 3.)
All three rings are now in our possession. 1 engagement ring and 2 wedding rings. Ring ring ring!
Mar 12, 2009
Ugh
I love her but puppy farts are awful.
I know this is not an insightful blog but she broke into her food container (second time this week, this time she actually chewed the lock apart) and now is a very smelly pup. Goodness.
I know this is not an insightful blog but she broke into her food container (second time this week, this time she actually chewed the lock apart) and now is a very smelly pup. Goodness.
Mar 8, 2009
Comin' Up Rosco
This is one of my dear darling's favorite phrases when things start lookin up. And I like it. "Comin' Up Cheryl" just doesn't have the same ring. We also high five and say "Go Team Black!" or "TB!" (for Team Black, Ross' last name is Black...just in case you were trying to figure that one out). And lately folks, things are comin' up Rosco, lookin' up for old Team Black. We're excited.
- Ross has applications in at Georgetown and Kyle. We are optimistic about both. We are waiting on the paperwork from Waco (thank you little bro) so that he can apply there too. The firefighting quest is going swimmingly well.
- I am getting a blackberry for my birthday! Woohoo!!! I've been telling Ross since Christmas that I want one. He hadn't committed either way but on Friday, he finally did. He said that's what he'll get me for my birthday! I am so excited. Jane, Christen and a few others from college know how excited I used to get about buying planners. I realize this is odd, its kinda like a disease. I love to have things pretty and organized. That said, just imagine what having my Outlook calendar and all my email IN MY PURSE will be for me. Holy cow. A thing of electronic beauty.
- Ross' grandma is renewing his passport for his birthday. One step closer to the Bahamas.
- I am going to DC in about 6 weeks. With my blackberry. (!!!)
- I got a new vacuum cleaner which in itself is not that exciting. But our carpets have not been this puppy fur free since we got her. It's fantastic.
So that folks is why things are comin up Rosco (and Cheryl) and why we have a random Ross pic with this blog entry. And also Haila did a check in meeting with us last week asking us to each give our personal update a "blog title" and this is what I used. I've been meaning to make it a real blog ever since. Now I can check "write a comin' up Rosco blog" off my to-do list...which in Outlook is a task list and will soon be available to me on my new blackberry. Because I am getting one for my birthday, in case I didn't already tell you.
Mar 5, 2009
I woke up at 3:30a today and now my mouth is numb
Actually the two are not related but it made for a fun title.
I woke up very very very early today because our local CBS affiliate did a story on LMK, new Girl Scout program all about online safety. The interview went great! And I got to work with my fav cameraman (Ben) and met an awesome new reporter (Bettie). Apparently I made Ben's day last week when I specifically asked Bettie if he would be the cameraman. She said its not often that cameramen get requested.
And now I can't feel my mouth because I went to the dentist and had to get fillings (lame). I was looking forward to coming home and seeing my honey but since I only have mild control over my mouth I'm kinda glad he's out playing softball. Maybe by the time he gets home, I'll be able to smile or pucker up for a kiss. Both are just comical at the moment.
In other news, I picked up a relationship advice book the other day (Ross and I are doing great, I just figure you can't read too much or be too prepared for the biggest day of your life). Actually I was looking for a wedding planning book and stumbled upon this. It's got two titles, one side is "Dumb things she does" and the other is "Dumb things he does." I was inspired to pick it up after seeing the chapter title "not knowing your place" under "dumb things she does." Rest assured fellow feminists, I was outraged. Outraged and curious so I started reading it there in the bookstore to see what this crazy conservative backwards writer had to say. What I learned was the writer, Holly Wagner, is neither crazy nor backwards though in all fairness, a little conservative. But despite my liberal political views, Ross and I do have a more conservative and traditional relationship.
Anyway, knowing your place, that terribly threatening title was not such a threatening chapter. It discussed the need to yield to one another and in this case, the need of the wife to yield to the husband at times. She gave the metaphor of two cars, a little car and a semi, driving down a two lane road that suddenly goes down to one lane. SOMEONE has to yield and by traffic laws, that's the semi. That doesn't mean the semi is a lesser vehicle or a weaker vehicle, just that someone had to yield to avoid a crash. That's Holly's (we're on a first name basis) whole point; when you come to a stand off someone has to yield and its ok to be that person. She does favor the wife yielding to the husband which if I had read the chapters in order I would have understood her reasoning at that moment. I didn't understand her reasoning at that moment but did understand her point that it is ok to yield to your partner. You don't have to stand your ground just for the sake of standing your ground.
Now in her earlier chapters she discusses the man's somewhat innate desire to be the leader in the family and if that is a role you agree with, the importance of the wife letting him lead. If you don't want a man who is the leader of the family, well, that particular chapter may not be for you. But that is why she favors the wife yielding to the husband, because he has assumed the role of family leader. For us, I do want Ross to be the leader. I don't want to be a doormat and I don't want to be a second-class member of our relationship. But I do crave a man, and fortunately have one, who can make hard decisions, hold his ground and will take responsibility for our family. So for us, I think this particular lesson resonates. I don't have to be the one to yield all the time, certainly I shouldn't be, but its ok if I do yield to him and let him lead our family.
I don't know that I am quite explaining all this well. I think it may sound like I plan on letting Ross make all the decisions. That's not the case at all. In short, I think the big take home point from this little wise book for me was if you say you want your man to be a leader in the family, LET HIM LEAD. Support him, respect him and don't insist on always being the leader yourself. Give him the opportunity to lead you and your family. If he is a good leader, which I know Ross is, he will ask for your opinion as an equal, just as you ask for his. He will make decisions based on what is best for the family and everyone will win.
And so you don't think old Holly was just out to get us girls, she told the men that they have to be good leaders, have to take responsibility for their families and must must must court their wives always and forever. I think that's a lot of expectations for the old boys but expectations that they must live up to if they are going to be the much respected man of the house.
There you have it, my personal relationship revelation of the week. Whew.
I woke up very very very early today because our local CBS affiliate did a story on LMK, new Girl Scout program all about online safety. The interview went great! And I got to work with my fav cameraman (Ben) and met an awesome new reporter (Bettie). Apparently I made Ben's day last week when I specifically asked Bettie if he would be the cameraman. She said its not often that cameramen get requested.
And now I can't feel my mouth because I went to the dentist and had to get fillings (lame). I was looking forward to coming home and seeing my honey but since I only have mild control over my mouth I'm kinda glad he's out playing softball. Maybe by the time he gets home, I'll be able to smile or pucker up for a kiss. Both are just comical at the moment.
In other news, I picked up a relationship advice book the other day (Ross and I are doing great, I just figure you can't read too much or be too prepared for the biggest day of your life). Actually I was looking for a wedding planning book and stumbled upon this. It's got two titles, one side is "Dumb things she does" and the other is "Dumb things he does." I was inspired to pick it up after seeing the chapter title "not knowing your place" under "dumb things she does." Rest assured fellow feminists, I was outraged. Outraged and curious so I started reading it there in the bookstore to see what this crazy conservative backwards writer had to say. What I learned was the writer, Holly Wagner, is neither crazy nor backwards though in all fairness, a little conservative. But despite my liberal political views, Ross and I do have a more conservative and traditional relationship.
Anyway, knowing your place, that terribly threatening title was not such a threatening chapter. It discussed the need to yield to one another and in this case, the need of the wife to yield to the husband at times. She gave the metaphor of two cars, a little car and a semi, driving down a two lane road that suddenly goes down to one lane. SOMEONE has to yield and by traffic laws, that's the semi. That doesn't mean the semi is a lesser vehicle or a weaker vehicle, just that someone had to yield to avoid a crash. That's Holly's (we're on a first name basis) whole point; when you come to a stand off someone has to yield and its ok to be that person. She does favor the wife yielding to the husband which if I had read the chapters in order I would have understood her reasoning at that moment. I didn't understand her reasoning at that moment but did understand her point that it is ok to yield to your partner. You don't have to stand your ground just for the sake of standing your ground.
Now in her earlier chapters she discusses the man's somewhat innate desire to be the leader in the family and if that is a role you agree with, the importance of the wife letting him lead. If you don't want a man who is the leader of the family, well, that particular chapter may not be for you. But that is why she favors the wife yielding to the husband, because he has assumed the role of family leader. For us, I do want Ross to be the leader. I don't want to be a doormat and I don't want to be a second-class member of our relationship. But I do crave a man, and fortunately have one, who can make hard decisions, hold his ground and will take responsibility for our family. So for us, I think this particular lesson resonates. I don't have to be the one to yield all the time, certainly I shouldn't be, but its ok if I do yield to him and let him lead our family.
I don't know that I am quite explaining all this well. I think it may sound like I plan on letting Ross make all the decisions. That's not the case at all. In short, I think the big take home point from this little wise book for me was if you say you want your man to be a leader in the family, LET HIM LEAD. Support him, respect him and don't insist on always being the leader yourself. Give him the opportunity to lead you and your family. If he is a good leader, which I know Ross is, he will ask for your opinion as an equal, just as you ask for his. He will make decisions based on what is best for the family and everyone will win.
And so you don't think old Holly was just out to get us girls, she told the men that they have to be good leaders, have to take responsibility for their families and must must must court their wives always and forever. I think that's a lot of expectations for the old boys but expectations that they must live up to if they are going to be the much respected man of the house.
There you have it, my personal relationship revelation of the week. Whew.
Mar 1, 2009
In like a lion
March came in like a lion...well like a lion cub I suppose. It was 80+ for most the week here and this weekend was in the 60s. Nothing compared to the snow on the east coast, but enough of the weather.
Mom came in for the day yesterday and we picked up my wedding dress. It needs a few alterations, which I was disappointed by, but I guess that's par for the course. I had this vision though of picking up my dress and having everything be perfect, this happy perfect moment with a perfect fitting dress. It was happy but it was not perfect fitting. Oh well, I think most brides have a few alterations to their dress. So long as the wedding is perfect, I can forgive a dress that needs a couple alterations.
We also looked at invitations. After chatting with Nikki and Mom, I think we might do online RSVPing. What are y'all's thoughts? (See our wedding Web site which I did massive updates on this weekend.)We're not having a crazy formal black tie wedding so it isn't necessary to have formal invitations and response cards. I really want everyone to sign our online guestbook so making them go to the Web to RSVP helps get them to the guestbook. I also don't want to include a lot of inserts in the invitations, I want to just have that all online. Again, RSVPing online helps drive people to the Web site. And finally, though this isn't really an issue, just the icing on the cake, it is greener and reduces postage costs. I don't want to be tacky though. Please give feedback on this one. If you think it's terribly tacky, now's the time to tell me, to help me not be that tacky bride.
Oh yes and this is my bouquet (almost) for the wedding. We're switching out the calla lilies and replacing them with the starbursty kind which the florist says (ie warns) will give it a pretty different look. But I just love the starbursty lilies and I'm sure it will turn out beautiful. I trust my florist to make it so.
As a final footnote, Rick got a job at Dell! Woohoo! Maybe we can finally get him to move to north Austin now.
Mom came in for the day yesterday and we picked up my wedding dress. It needs a few alterations, which I was disappointed by, but I guess that's par for the course. I had this vision though of picking up my dress and having everything be perfect, this happy perfect moment with a perfect fitting dress. It was happy but it was not perfect fitting. Oh well, I think most brides have a few alterations to their dress. So long as the wedding is perfect, I can forgive a dress that needs a couple alterations.
We also looked at invitations. After chatting with Nikki and Mom, I think we might do online RSVPing. What are y'all's thoughts? (See our wedding Web site which I did massive updates on this weekend.)We're not having a crazy formal black tie wedding so it isn't necessary to have formal invitations and response cards. I really want everyone to sign our online guestbook so making them go to the Web to RSVP helps get them to the guestbook. I also don't want to include a lot of inserts in the invitations, I want to just have that all online. Again, RSVPing online helps drive people to the Web site. And finally, though this isn't really an issue, just the icing on the cake, it is greener and reduces postage costs. I don't want to be tacky though. Please give feedback on this one. If you think it's terribly tacky, now's the time to tell me, to help me not be that tacky bride.
Oh yes and this is my bouquet (almost) for the wedding. We're switching out the calla lilies and replacing them with the starbursty kind which the florist says (ie warns) will give it a pretty different look. But I just love the starbursty lilies and I'm sure it will turn out beautiful. I trust my florist to make it so.
As a final footnote, Rick got a job at Dell! Woohoo! Maybe we can finally get him to move to north Austin now.
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