About Pregnancy

Things I was told would happen while I was pregnant and that have been spot on

• Exhaustion
• The second trimester would be the easiest
• My brain would seem to work less efficiently (my vocab has been reduced by at least 50% I swear)
• A seriously big belly
• Not being able to reach my feet. Sigh.
• The incredible struggle to move from lying down to sitting up/getting outta bed
• Mood swings

Things I was told might happen and mercifully have not...knock on wood

• Feet growing - I would be so disappointed if my whole shoe collection was null and void
• Stretch marks
• Morning sickness
• Becoming off-balance. I totally rocked some pumps to work today.

Things nobody told me about but have happened

• Loss of hand-eye coordination. Especially when it comes to drinks/liquids. I should wear a bib or apron at all times.
• Rib cage expansion
• Complete and utter loss of interest in vegetables (I'll eat them so it doesn't count as an aversion but its like I've forgotten they exist. When Ross came home this morning and saw a pizza box in the fridge he asked if he had to make all my meals to keep me from eating exclusively junk food. In a word: yes.)

Things about the procreation process that are dumb

• 9 months. Really? 9 whole months? Couldn't we be like kangaroos and carry them in a cute little (external-ish) pouch or lay eggs like birds?
• Labor & delivery. I haven't done it yet but given this story from the UK...yeah. 

Things about the procreation process that are freakin' genius

• That it takes 2 people. Because dear God, I need my husband. To lift heavy things, to cook me healthy meals and to be the consistent voice of reason during the aforementioned mood swings and subsequent freak outs.
• 9 whole months. Because I'm pretty sure it takes that long to even begin to process what you are about to embark upon for the rest of your life