After almost 10 years of blogging, I think I'm taking a hiatus. There's so much wonderful living going on, I find it increasingly hard to take time to write about said living. Will I come back one day? Maybe, who knows. Will it be a lifetime hiatus that is better defined as just simply being done? Maybe.
So until we meet again dear blog readers! I have some livin' to do.
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Feb 21, 2016
Jan 14, 2016
30 Must-Haves When You Turn 30
Last night I read a Houston Chronicle/Cosmo article by reality TV star Lauren Conrad on 29 things every girl needs before she turns thirty. And I threw up in my mouth a little.
Some were practical and smart, like a fire extinguisher. Others, like a cake stand or matching napkins, were depressingly inaccurate. If you want a cake stand, by all means, go buy one. But a necessity? I think not.
It got me all riled up. So in response, here is my list of things you really do need when you turn 30.
Actual Necessities
1. 401k - Only 30ish more years til retirement, so you better start saving now!
2. Education - Whether it is a college degree, on-the-job training, by 30 you should have the education you need to support yourself. Even if you don't work out of the home, having the ability to if it all goes to shit is really important.
3. OBGYN - For your health, find a doctor you trust and see them regularly. They'll know your medical history and can help you more effectively.
4. Bank account(s) - No more money in your sock drawer. Be a grown up and put it in the bank.
5. Fire safe - Even just a small one for your social security card and similarly important paperwork. You may even stick a few sentimental things in there; ours has the DVD of our wedding photos and our ultrasound pic of Cade.
6. Health insurance - Hopefully with Obamacare we all get some help getting this.
7. Relationship with your parents - As in a good one. Parents or whomever played the "raising" you role. Knowing you as a self-sufficient adult should be their payout for all the times they grounded you, helped with homework, etc.
8. Active activity - One you can actually stick to. Swimming, running, yoga, whatever, you need an active activity to help manage weight, stress and generally be in good health.
9. Life insurance - God forbid something happens, you should have at least enough life insurance to cover the funeral and ideally enough to help your family pay off any major debts like a mortgage.
10. Will - While we're on the topic, you need a will. It should include end-of-life care instructions, and if you have dependents, a plan for their care.
11. Fire extinguisher - I told you, I agree with some of Lauren Conrad's suggestions and this is one. You should really have a fire extinguisher, maybe two.
12. Designated driver - Every time you drink, have a plan to NOT drink and drive. Your date, your friend, Uber, the couch at the place you are drinking. You are too old to risk the safety of yourself and others because of alcohol.
13. Family plan - Not the "husband, 2.5 kids and a dog" kind. But the family planning kind. Want kids right now? Great, you know how to get them! Don't want kids right now? Great, you know how to not get them. Be an active participant in your sexual health and family planning.
14. Sense of self - You probably tried on a lot of different hats in your 20s (and you'll probably keep doing that forever). By 30 you should sorta know who you are or at least be closer to figuring it out, and be COMFORTABLE with it. If you are a working woman, that's wonderful. If you are an incredible wife and mother, that's wonderful. If you are an enthusiastic patriot and community servant, that's wonderful. Just like it's OK to hate cooking, love cooking, really enjoy country music, love sappy chick flicks or hate red wine.
15. Confidence - Right there with your sense of self, the confidence to be that person, to stand up for what you believe in and be a leader in your own way.
Really, Really, Really Good To Have
16. Flashlight - Again, Lauren Conrad wasn't all wrong.
17. Tool set - Again, she did OK on this one.
18. Adult email address - Please say goodbye to HotHon3y@aol.com. You can't apply for a job or mortgage with that. Use your name or initials.
19. Facebook privacy settings - Understand them and put a few in place. Your boss does not need to see you in a bikini. Really.
20. Resume - Especially if you work outside of the home, but even if you don't, a relatively current resume is always smart to have on hand. You never know when you'll need it.
21. Realistic Budget - No matter how much or how little money you have, a budget keeps it in check. You should have one and be reasonably good at sticking to it.
22. Get outta debt plan - Maybe it is to get 100% outta debt or maybe just to pay off your credit cards. Either is great and the less debt you have, the more freedom you will gain.
23. Passport - Fingers crossed you have a really fun reason to use it. But if a last minute need to travel abroad (remember, that includes Mexico and Canada) comes up, you don't want to be caught in the cluster that is often expedited passport requests.
24. Roadside Assistance Plan - Whether its your own two hands, a paid service or a few reliable family/friends, make sure you know how to bail yourself out if the car battery dies or a tire goes flat.
25. Negotiation skills - Very important for salary, car buying, home buying or even just vacation rental. Or having a toddler.
26. BFF - A girlfriend, husband, your mom. At least one person who you love and can share everything with. You deserve someone to celebrate your highs with and help you through the lows.
Nice To Have
27. Wow outfit - one outfit that you feel really good about yourself when wearing. Doesn't matter if it is work, date-night or what. You deserve to have something you feel fabulous in.
28. Comfortable mattress - Another Lauren Conrad win. You spend 1/4-1/3 of your life sleeping. It should be good quality.
29. Boots - Maybe they are cute, but they should definitely be functional for whatever your winters are like. Now if you live in Hawaii, you can probably substitute flip flops here.
30. Kitchen Favorite - Depending on how you most like to use your kitchen, you should have something in your kitchen that you really really love. Cake stand (to each his own), wine glasses, food processor, margarita machine, it doesn't really matter. Eating and drinking are important, let's enjoy them.
Some were practical and smart, like a fire extinguisher. Others, like a cake stand or matching napkins, were depressingly inaccurate. If you want a cake stand, by all means, go buy one. But a necessity? I think not.
It got me all riled up. So in response, here is my list of things you really do need when you turn 30.
Actual Necessities
1. 401k - Only 30ish more years til retirement, so you better start saving now!
2. Education - Whether it is a college degree, on-the-job training, by 30 you should have the education you need to support yourself. Even if you don't work out of the home, having the ability to if it all goes to shit is really important.
3. OBGYN - For your health, find a doctor you trust and see them regularly. They'll know your medical history and can help you more effectively.
4. Bank account(s) - No more money in your sock drawer. Be a grown up and put it in the bank.
5. Fire safe - Even just a small one for your social security card and similarly important paperwork. You may even stick a few sentimental things in there; ours has the DVD of our wedding photos and our ultrasound pic of Cade.
6. Health insurance - Hopefully with Obamacare we all get some help getting this.
7. Relationship with your parents - As in a good one. Parents or whomever played the "raising" you role. Knowing you as a self-sufficient adult should be their payout for all the times they grounded you, helped with homework, etc.
8. Active activity - One you can actually stick to. Swimming, running, yoga, whatever, you need an active activity to help manage weight, stress and generally be in good health.
9. Life insurance - God forbid something happens, you should have at least enough life insurance to cover the funeral and ideally enough to help your family pay off any major debts like a mortgage.
10. Will - While we're on the topic, you need a will. It should include end-of-life care instructions, and if you have dependents, a plan for their care.
11. Fire extinguisher - I told you, I agree with some of Lauren Conrad's suggestions and this is one. You should really have a fire extinguisher, maybe two.
12. Designated driver - Every time you drink, have a plan to NOT drink and drive. Your date, your friend, Uber, the couch at the place you are drinking. You are too old to risk the safety of yourself and others because of alcohol.
13. Family plan - Not the "husband, 2.5 kids and a dog" kind. But the family planning kind. Want kids right now? Great, you know how to get them! Don't want kids right now? Great, you know how to not get them. Be an active participant in your sexual health and family planning.
14. Sense of self - You probably tried on a lot of different hats in your 20s (and you'll probably keep doing that forever). By 30 you should sorta know who you are or at least be closer to figuring it out, and be COMFORTABLE with it. If you are a working woman, that's wonderful. If you are an incredible wife and mother, that's wonderful. If you are an enthusiastic patriot and community servant, that's wonderful. Just like it's OK to hate cooking, love cooking, really enjoy country music, love sappy chick flicks or hate red wine.
15. Confidence - Right there with your sense of self, the confidence to be that person, to stand up for what you believe in and be a leader in your own way.
Really, Really, Really Good To Have
16. Flashlight - Again, Lauren Conrad wasn't all wrong.
17. Tool set - Again, she did OK on this one.
18. Adult email address - Please say goodbye to HotHon3y@aol.com. You can't apply for a job or mortgage with that. Use your name or initials.
19. Facebook privacy settings - Understand them and put a few in place. Your boss does not need to see you in a bikini. Really.
20. Resume - Especially if you work outside of the home, but even if you don't, a relatively current resume is always smart to have on hand. You never know when you'll need it.
21. Realistic Budget - No matter how much or how little money you have, a budget keeps it in check. You should have one and be reasonably good at sticking to it.
22. Get outta debt plan - Maybe it is to get 100% outta debt or maybe just to pay off your credit cards. Either is great and the less debt you have, the more freedom you will gain.
23. Passport - Fingers crossed you have a really fun reason to use it. But if a last minute need to travel abroad (remember, that includes Mexico and Canada) comes up, you don't want to be caught in the cluster that is often expedited passport requests.
24. Roadside Assistance Plan - Whether its your own two hands, a paid service or a few reliable family/friends, make sure you know how to bail yourself out if the car battery dies or a tire goes flat.
25. Negotiation skills - Very important for salary, car buying, home buying or even just vacation rental. Or having a toddler.
26. BFF - A girlfriend, husband, your mom. At least one person who you love and can share everything with. You deserve someone to celebrate your highs with and help you through the lows.
Nice To Have
27. Wow outfit - one outfit that you feel really good about yourself when wearing. Doesn't matter if it is work, date-night or what. You deserve to have something you feel fabulous in.
28. Comfortable mattress - Another Lauren Conrad win. You spend 1/4-1/3 of your life sleeping. It should be good quality.
29. Boots - Maybe they are cute, but they should definitely be functional for whatever your winters are like. Now if you live in Hawaii, you can probably substitute flip flops here.
30. Kitchen Favorite - Depending on how you most like to use your kitchen, you should have something in your kitchen that you really really love. Cake stand (to each his own), wine glasses, food processor, margarita machine, it doesn't really matter. Eating and drinking are important, let's enjoy them.
Jan 4, 2016
Cutting Back
Every 2-3 years, for like the past 10-15, I find that I haven taken on too many commitments. You think after all this time, I would learn. But no. I just get so darn excited about so many things, I sign up for them all.
The high school version: Join student council? Yes! Tutor elementary school students? Yes! Work part-time? Yes! Take AP classes? Yes! Try to have a social life? Yes! Sleep? ...oh I knew I was forgetting something.
The college version: Take a full course load? Yes! (Especially since it was costing a fortune either way). Join TriDelta? Yes! Work part-time? Yes! Host parties at your awesome apartment? Yes! Sleep? ....oh I knew I was forgetting something.
The mom version: Raise a child? Yes! Be a good wife? Yes! Work out regularly? Yes! Have a full-time job? Yes! Travel? Yes! Generally take care of myself by going to the dentist, doctor, etc? Yes! Blog? Yes! Volunteer? Yes! Watch trashy TV and drink wine? Yes! See friends? Yes! Visit family? Yes! Make Pinterest-worthy anything? Occasionally, yes! Sleep? ...oh right, that again.
So as I have had to continually do, it was time to cut back. And a handful of these aren't up for negotiation. My boys, for example, are (thankfully) here to stay. And though we all have days we'd rather not work, I never have days when I'd rather not have the income, and truth be told, I really do like my job. Cutting out the dentist and whatnot was tempting but ultimately not an adult decision.
This go-around, I cut back on blogging, specifically for the Austin Mom's Blog. I really did enjoy doing it but I found it was a solitary activity for me. Which is what I set out for initially but as I got involved I realized how social it could be with all the fun public and private blogger events that were held. Yet unfortunately, I never ever could fit any of those in. Literally the only other time I saw my fellow bloggers in person was at our group photoshoot last year and it was truly a three ring circus to get there during rush hour on a work day.
I was, of my own doing, having a half-assed blogger experience. Doing things half-assed isn't nearly as fun, meaningful or productive as doing things all in. I mean if you are going to raise a kid, RAISE that kid. If you are going to watch trashy TV and drink wine, well then damn it, make sure you chill the bottle and have some pajama pants ready.
I'll of course continue to be an enthusiastic reader. It really is the best place to find a list of 50 splashpads, events around town, kid-friendly day trips, hilarious stories in mothering and such. (For an example, check out my swan song, Mom and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day.)
I'm hoping with my new found time, I can do the other things a wee bit better. I especially want to get more active in my new volunteer group, which being based in Round Rock, is relatively easy for me to participate in. Also, as part of my new year's resolutions, I'm hopeful I can work out a smidge more and maybe I'll do a few things, like decorating the guest room, with Pinterest-worthy flair.
Thanks AMB - it was fun!
The high school version: Join student council? Yes! Tutor elementary school students? Yes! Work part-time? Yes! Take AP classes? Yes! Try to have a social life? Yes! Sleep? ...oh I knew I was forgetting something.
The college version: Take a full course load? Yes! (Especially since it was costing a fortune either way). Join TriDelta? Yes! Work part-time? Yes! Host parties at your awesome apartment? Yes! Sleep? ....oh I knew I was forgetting something.
 |
| Traveling and wife-ing on our Fredericksburg trip |
So as I have had to continually do, it was time to cut back. And a handful of these aren't up for negotiation. My boys, for example, are (thankfully) here to stay. And though we all have days we'd rather not work, I never have days when I'd rather not have the income, and truth be told, I really do like my job. Cutting out the dentist and whatnot was tempting but ultimately not an adult decision.
This go-around, I cut back on blogging, specifically for the Austin Mom's Blog. I really did enjoy doing it but I found it was a solitary activity for me. Which is what I set out for initially but as I got involved I realized how social it could be with all the fun public and private blogger events that were held. Yet unfortunately, I never ever could fit any of those in. Literally the only other time I saw my fellow bloggers in person was at our group photoshoot last year and it was truly a three ring circus to get there during rush hour on a work day.
I was, of my own doing, having a half-assed blogger experience. Doing things half-assed isn't nearly as fun, meaningful or productive as doing things all in. I mean if you are going to raise a kid, RAISE that kid. If you are going to watch trashy TV and drink wine, well then damn it, make sure you chill the bottle and have some pajama pants ready.
I'll of course continue to be an enthusiastic reader. It really is the best place to find a list of 50 splashpads, events around town, kid-friendly day trips, hilarious stories in mothering and such. (For an example, check out my swan song, Mom and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day.)
I'm hoping with my new found time, I can do the other things a wee bit better. I especially want to get more active in my new volunteer group, which being based in Round Rock, is relatively easy for me to participate in. Also, as part of my new year's resolutions, I'm hopeful I can work out a smidge more and maybe I'll do a few things, like decorating the guest room, with Pinterest-worthy flair.
Thanks AMB - it was fun!
 |
| That super kid I'm raising... by turning him into a toddler yuppie at Starbucks before school |
Aug 6, 2015
One and Done
At the beginning of our vacation, a post I wrote (over the course of almost 2 weeks and with about 6 rounds of revisions) posted on the Austin Moms Blog. In short summary...
I was a little nervous about writing it. It is after all, a fairly personal topic, as family planning should be. But also I've heard several opinions that make it sound "wrong" to have an only child. Personally I think to call any conscious family planning decision "wrong" is just crazy. If anything conscious and purposeful family planning is responsible.
But I digress.
So anyways I wrote it, revised it (and revised it 5 more times) and then it published. And to date, it has 1484 Facebook likes! That, ladies and gentlemen, is a personal all time high.
If you would like to read One and Done, you can find it here.
The real reason, the bottom line for why we’re strongly leaning toward one-and-done is actually pretty simple and I would guess it applies to many other one-and-done couples. Our life with one child feels complete, happy, satisfied and balanced.
But I digress.
So anyways I wrote it, revised it (and revised it 5 more times) and then it published. And to date, it has 1484 Facebook likes! That, ladies and gentlemen, is a personal all time high.
If you would like to read One and Done, you can find it here.
Dec 22, 2014
Austin Moms Blog Kid-tastic Christmas
I'm pretty proud of this recent Austin Mom's Blog post. Reprinted here for your enjoyment! But do a blogger a favor, go read it/like it over there too.
So for you other non-domestic divas, or for the domestic diva who just needs a night off, here are 12 kid-tastic Christmas ideas that do not involve you becoming June Cleaver.
Ba-da-bing ba-da-bum Christmas! No paper mache, aprons or Pinterest required.
Happy Holidays!
I love Christmas but I am not a domestic diva.
Like not a domestic diva at all. My husband cooks (and well, I might add) and one of my new year’s resolutions is to spring for a monthly house cleaning. But like I said, I love Christmas and all the fun celebrating that comes with it.So for you other non-domestic divas, or for the domestic diva who just needs a night off, here are 12 kid-tastic Christmas ideas that do not involve you becoming June Cleaver.
- Christmas cookiesCookie cutter cookies: Pre-packaged sugar cookies have a direction variation for going cookie cutter style. I think it still only required three ingredients or less. And HEB sells some Texas shaped cookie cutters for the $1-2 range. Go crazy.
- Christmas light drive: Whether around the block or through the Trail of Lights, this is a classic.
- Storytime: Local libraries, Barnes and Noble stores and BookPeople all offer holiday storytime for the small human in your life.
- Seasonal volunteering or donating: Many organizations like the Salvation Army offer unique seasonal giving-back opportunities. Pick one near and dear to your heart to show the kids what the giving season really means.
- Fire department drop-off: Fire departments run 24/7/365. Swing by your local station to drop off goodies. Homemade meals or simply bottled water and Gatorade are all appreciated.
- Red & green meals: Take inspiration from Green Eggs & Ham and turn any meal a little more festive with the addition of food coloring.
- Christmas crafts: You can paper mache a life-size Christmas tree if you want (but then you will qualify as a domestic diva). Or you can make simple construction paper chains or buy a Christmas coloring book. I recommend the Christmas Puppies coloring book because who doesn’t love Christmas and puppies.
- Movie night: Kid or parent selected, snuggle in for a Christmas classic like Miracle on 34th Street or modern classics like Elf. Personally, I love Prancer of the 1980s fame.
- Sing-a-long: Turn the daily commute or the over the hill and through the woods trip to Grandma’s into the jingle bell rock. Sing your hearts out y’all.
- Holiday bathtime: Much like holiday meals, add some red and green to bathtime to make it festive. The Crayola bath crayons or drops can lead the way. Or fill the tub with the foam letters to spell words like “Santa” and “tree.”
- It’s a small world: Choose a country, maybe the one your family hails from, and dedicate an evening to their Christmas traditions. You can include a special dinner dish (I’m sure World Market or Whole Foods can help), read a book or sing a song.
- Bible readings: Before Santa and the elves, there were Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. Help your kids understand the origins of Christmas and the beliefs of your family.
Ba-da-bing ba-da-bum Christmas! No paper mache, aprons or Pinterest required.
Happy Holidays!
Nov 19, 2014
#AMBTakeoverTuesday
Yesterday I took over the Austin Mom's Blog Instagram account for the day. In Instgrams, here was our day
Oct 15, 2014
Austin Moms Blog!
Since I'm not busy enough, back in August I connected with the editor of the Austin Moms Blog and last month signed up as a regular contributor. Woohoo! I'm actually really excited to have an "official" blog with lots of readers that is more lifestyle and consumer than tech and B2B.
So far I've contributed a guest post, an intro post and as of today my first regular post!
You can read it here: http://citymomsblog.com/austin/2014/10/15/is-working-from-home-for-you-6-questions-to-ask-yourself/
So far I've contributed a guest post, an intro post and as of today my first regular post!
You can read it here: http://citymomsblog.com/austin/2014/10/15/is-working-from-home-for-you-6-questions-to-ask-yourself/
Jul 23, 2014
Mommy Favorites
Amanda is my favorite mommy blogger of all time and I am very honored to tell you I actually know her awesome self. She is besties with AJ (my college roomie) and she and I have been co-bridesmaids together. She now has no less than FOUR kiddos, including one whose age can still be reported in days, and yet she's going to splash pads and Costco. I can barely handle splash pads with my one kiddo and I can't handle Costco alone.
If you need a laugh or some mommy-inspiration, read her stuff. Also she's a damn good photographer so there are cute kid pics too!
Another fav: my favorite parenting advice article as of late is this one. Specifically this part
If you need a laugh or some mommy-inspiration, read her stuff. Also she's a damn good photographer so there are cute kid pics too!
Another fav: my favorite parenting advice article as of late is this one. Specifically this part
Set the bar low. As I wrapped up my first son's 1-year visit, the pediatrician said, "Your job this year is basically just to keep him alive." I laughed. He wasn't joking. I thought, "Really?! Just keep him alive? What about proper nutrition, developmental milestones and nurturing his growing brain with educational toys?" Then little Eli started walking... and running... and climbing... and jumping... and I understood the pediatrician's advice, even as I marveled at my little daredevil's ability to find danger in the safest of environments.
So yes, lower your expectations of yourself. Your sweet baby is about to go running into the world. Wear comfy shoes, try to keep up, and stock up on colorful band-aids.
Jul 19, 2014
PR is not all martinis and manicures
A girlfriend posted this article to Facebook today and it could not be more accurate.
Having had my hand in the PR cookie jar in all my jobs, I can tell you, there aren't nearly as many martinis, manicures, happy hours or other fluff as most people think. There's a lot more prepping executives, writing and rewriting, calendar balancing, position statement creation, crisis communication planning and other non-alcoholic activities involved.
So why martinis and manicures the first thing that often comes to mind? I especially like this paragraph and its contribution to the explanation
Even in college, the number of peers in the COM who told me they wanted to do food, beverage, fashion and entertainment PR kinda killed me. I mean, yes, I want to get paid to peddle wine too. But there are only so many jobs in those arenas. Much less glitzy fields like investor relations, nonprofit (my fav), tech (my other fav), education, energy, and health are where the bulk of the jobs are.
I suppose this whole soapbox is to say two things
Having had my hand in the PR cookie jar in all my jobs, I can tell you, there aren't nearly as many martinis, manicures, happy hours or other fluff as most people think. There's a lot more prepping executives, writing and rewriting, calendar balancing, position statement creation, crisis communication planning and other non-alcoholic activities involved.
So why martinis and manicures the first thing that often comes to mind? I especially like this paragraph and its contribution to the explanation
On a New York Observer list of fictional publicists in pop culture, every notable character since the mid-'80s is a woman — typically sharp-tongued but not supersmart. Think Jennifer Saunders on Absolutely Fabulous, or Debi Mazar on Entourage. One of the most popular sketches on Comedy Central’s Kroll Show is "PubLIZity," a reality-TV parody starring Nick Kroll and Jenny Slate as vapid pseudo-professionals in neon heels. Even when they’re portrayed as savvy, like Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones, PR people are never intellectual heavy-hitters. They are the working world’s sorority girls: salad-eating, prosecco-ordering up-talkers, manicured to the hilt.TV shows aren't where it ends though. The number of chick-lit books featuring women PR, advertising or other communication pros living in London, NYC, and LA and hopping between social and work events with no discernible differences doesn't help either. They are always being woo-ed by mega-watt smiles from millionaire men (sometimes married) and sneaking off to the coffee shop to gossip with their girlfriend co-workers. While my career has definitely included some coffee shops, the flirting millionaires have been notably few.
Even in college, the number of peers in the COM who told me they wanted to do food, beverage, fashion and entertainment PR kinda killed me. I mean, yes, I want to get paid to peddle wine too. But there are only so many jobs in those arenas. Much less glitzy fields like investor relations, nonprofit (my fav), tech (my other fav), education, energy, and health are where the bulk of the jobs are.
I suppose this whole soapbox is to say two things
- The marketing and PR department at your company is not fueled by martinis. They are most likely sharp, talented individuals who could write a whole newspaper's worth of content before most of their non-marketing peers could spell their names.
- If you are considering a career in marketing or PR, remember, most of the jobs are not glitzy but they can be rewardingly geeky.
Apr 6, 2014
No Fake-Booking
On Friday I picked up an unread four month old copy of Real Simple. It had an article that encouraged women to take a week back in January and do some real honest social media sharing. Less "my family is perfect!" and more "here we are, warts and all."
I'm on board with the sentiment but of course there is a fine line between being honest and airing your dirty laundry. Nobody likes the latter.
But this isn't soapbox post about laundry, dirty or otherwise. It is a "no Fake-book" style blog post where I tell you that though life is pretty freakin' awesome, I am really really tired.
Not like "I chased a toddler around all day, had 6 clients meetings and have applesauce in my hair" tired. Because thankfully Cade spent the day with his Nana and it was no-work Sunday (I might have applesauce in my hair though; I haven't looked in the mirror since dinnertime). But legit "I have insomnia" tired. So there you have it. A working mother with insomnia. I am sure all the parents who are reading find that to be shocking... as in not at all shocking.
So I am drinking peppermint tea instead of my preferred chardonnay right now. And I am about to take a bubble bath, not because I'm a bubble-bath-aholic like my husband but because it was one of the more feasible items on the "100 ways to cure insomnia and if you have time for any of these you probably are not an insomniac" list.
Note: love and console your teething toddler, be successfully self-employed, snuggle with your dog in bed and enjoy late night snacks with your husband were not on the list. See, this list is overwhelmingly not feasible and not enjoyable. Except the promised sleep part. That sounds pretty freakin enjoyable if you ask me.
And I think that's about it. But I should really get off my computer now because # 34 on the list was not to sit in front of a screen after like 4p (or some other not-feasible early hour) and it is closing in on 8p. Night night (I hope)!
I'm on board with the sentiment but of course there is a fine line between being honest and airing your dirty laundry. Nobody likes the latter.
But this isn't soapbox post about laundry, dirty or otherwise. It is a "no Fake-book" style blog post where I tell you that though life is pretty freakin' awesome, I am really really tired.
Not like "I chased a toddler around all day, had 6 clients meetings and have applesauce in my hair" tired. Because thankfully Cade spent the day with his Nana and it was no-work Sunday (I might have applesauce in my hair though; I haven't looked in the mirror since dinnertime). But legit "I have insomnia" tired. So there you have it. A working mother with insomnia. I am sure all the parents who are reading find that to be shocking... as in not at all shocking.
So I am drinking peppermint tea instead of my preferred chardonnay right now. And I am about to take a bubble bath, not because I'm a bubble-bath-aholic like my husband but because it was one of the more feasible items on the "100 ways to cure insomnia and if you have time for any of these you probably are not an insomniac" list.
Note: love and console your teething toddler, be successfully self-employed, snuggle with your dog in bed and enjoy late night snacks with your husband were not on the list. See, this list is overwhelmingly not feasible and not enjoyable. Except the promised sleep part. That sounds pretty freakin enjoyable if you ask me.
And I think that's about it. But I should really get off my computer now because # 34 on the list was not to sit in front of a screen after like 4p (or some other not-feasible early hour) and it is closing in on 8p. Night night (I hope)!
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 12, 2013
Soapbox: Chivalry
Last night was a night of New York Times reading (isn't that what all the cool kids do on a Friday night?). In addition to "How to Choose a College" I read "I Don't Want My Preschooler to be a Gentleman." In short the author's son's preschool teacher has established the routine that the girls go to the bathroom first before naptime and the author is displeased because this is teaching her son that the different sexes play by different rules.
Let the soapbox begin.
You'll be happy and probably not at all surprised to know if we approach a door at the same time, my hubby always opens and holds it for me. And I let him, happily, for two reasons. 1 - It's really a gesture I appreciate. 2 - Gender roles are so much less traditional today than they were 100 years ago (to state the obvious example, I have a career, and a good one at that) but I think most men still strive for and get satisfaction from being the provider and protector. It may sound archaic but I think it's true. And holding the door for his wife is a little thing that Ross can do to care for me and to play that traditional gender role. Why would I take that away from him?
It is such a simple and polite act, one that has great ROI. Yes, I'm talking about the ROI of holding a door. You take 5 seconds (if that) to hold a door and you give the person benefiting warm fuzzies, are told thank you and endear yourself toward them. Such great reward for such a small act. Hold the damn door.
1. It means he makes or has money. As in there's something in his bank account somewhere. If you are post-college and hypothetically interested in settling down, it's not wise to get involved with someone who has literally no cash flow. If you have to be his sugar mama when you are dating, imagine what the more comfortable, settled down years are going to be like.
2. It means he has some fiscal responsibility. He should only be taking you on dates he can afford. If he makes 6 figures and you get to go to martini bars every weekend, fine. If he doesn't and date night is a 6-pack of beer by the apartment building pool, fine. The point is he knows what his finances are like and woos you within those means. And as his date, you should respect those boundaries and not pressure him into spending money he can't afford. If you ask for or express interest in something out of his means, he needs to be man enough not to cave. Again if you are hypothetically interested in settling down, you want to be involved with someone who has some sense of fiscal responsibility.
When Ross and I met we were both broke and to be honest, he was more broke than I was at the very beginning. But he took me on dates that were great but not bank busters. Lunch and sno-cones in the park, mid-week drinks at 6th Street bars (where he more often than not knew the bartender and got a couple rounds on the house) or dinner at my place where he provided a mid-range bottle of wine. Ya know what - he sure fooled me. It wasn't until months later when he told me that I knew how broke he was. I just knew there was this good-looking guy asking me out on dates and then taking care of the bill. As we got more serious I started pitching in a bit (I'll get this round babe) but I never remember a time when the norm was me paying. And of course once we got engaged and moved in together it transformed from "my money" and "your money" to "our money" so who paid for what became a wash. (This is not to say we've never fought about money. We have. We were SO broke the first 2 years we were together that I promise you we had more than one argument along the lines of "no, you go buy the toilet paper. I don't get paid for another 3 days.")
Simple chivalry and serious gender equality are not mutually exclusive.
Let the soapbox begin.
Get Over It
I have yet to see "preschool teacher" on a list of highly paid professions. This teacher, who gets paid peanuts I'm sure, is doing the best she can and trying to teach the kiddos some manners. If it really bothers you, which it must to write an article on it, switch preschools. Or I trust that a good active parent (which the writer I'm sure is) can teach their child the difference between letting someone go ahead of them to the bathroom and long-term gender inequality. Good grief.Holding and Opening Doors
Of course this article led to a million comments about other acts of chivalry and people's thoughts on them. I'd like to state, for the record, that I'll be damned if Cade grows up to be one of those guys who does not hold doors, for anyone but especially for girls. When I was at BU, which you know I loved, once I was single in the city, I quickly noticed how many fewer doors were held for me than I'd experienced back home. If there's a person right behind you hold the door or at least hand it off to them. It annoyed me when girls let a door close right in front of me and it nearly infuriated me when guys did it. No manners at all! I'll admit, when I was dating, if my date and I approached the door at the same time, I made a point not to reach for it. Yes it was a little bratty but I wasn't going to have a serious and/or successful relationship with a guy who was too dense to know he should open the door.You'll be happy and probably not at all surprised to know if we approach a door at the same time, my hubby always opens and holds it for me. And I let him, happily, for two reasons. 1 - It's really a gesture I appreciate. 2 - Gender roles are so much less traditional today than they were 100 years ago (to state the obvious example, I have a career, and a good one at that) but I think most men still strive for and get satisfaction from being the provider and protector. It may sound archaic but I think it's true. And holding the door for his wife is a little thing that Ross can do to care for me and to play that traditional gender role. Why would I take that away from him?
It is such a simple and polite act, one that has great ROI. Yes, I'm talking about the ROI of holding a door. You take 5 seconds (if that) to hold a door and you give the person benefiting warm fuzzies, are told thank you and endear yourself toward them. Such great reward for such a small act. Hold the damn door.
Paying for Dates
First, I don't mean in high school and even the college years are up for some debate. But once a guy is (or should be) working full time, he needs to pay for the (majority of) dates. I'll give you my two reasons and I know there's people/situations out there that will poke holes in them but they are my reasons nonetheless.1. It means he makes or has money. As in there's something in his bank account somewhere. If you are post-college and hypothetically interested in settling down, it's not wise to get involved with someone who has literally no cash flow. If you have to be his sugar mama when you are dating, imagine what the more comfortable, settled down years are going to be like.
2. It means he has some fiscal responsibility. He should only be taking you on dates he can afford. If he makes 6 figures and you get to go to martini bars every weekend, fine. If he doesn't and date night is a 6-pack of beer by the apartment building pool, fine. The point is he knows what his finances are like and woos you within those means. And as his date, you should respect those boundaries and not pressure him into spending money he can't afford. If you ask for or express interest in something out of his means, he needs to be man enough not to cave. Again if you are hypothetically interested in settling down, you want to be involved with someone who has some sense of fiscal responsibility.
When Ross and I met we were both broke and to be honest, he was more broke than I was at the very beginning. But he took me on dates that were great but not bank busters. Lunch and sno-cones in the park, mid-week drinks at 6th Street bars (where he more often than not knew the bartender and got a couple rounds on the house) or dinner at my place where he provided a mid-range bottle of wine. Ya know what - he sure fooled me. It wasn't until months later when he told me that I knew how broke he was. I just knew there was this good-looking guy asking me out on dates and then taking care of the bill. As we got more serious I started pitching in a bit (I'll get this round babe) but I never remember a time when the norm was me paying. And of course once we got engaged and moved in together it transformed from "my money" and "your money" to "our money" so who paid for what became a wash. (This is not to say we've never fought about money. We have. We were SO broke the first 2 years we were together that I promise you we had more than one argument along the lines of "no, you go buy the toilet paper. I don't get paid for another 3 days.")
Bigger Fish to Fry
Short tangent - we talk often about women's rights and gender inequality with the woman getting the short end of the stick. While I don't mean to imply that men have it so hard, I do think there are some gender inequality issues where men get the short end of the stick. For example, when was the last time someone asked a dad-to-be if he was going to stay home or return to work after the baby was born? Modifying careers for the benefit of family is much less socially acceptable for men than for women. Maybe we should spend a little more time on issues like that and a little less time on who goes to the bathroom first at preschool.Chivalry Does NOT Equal Oppression
I don't have too much of a soapbox here but to the original article's author's implication that by teaching her son to let a girl go to the bathroom first, the preschool teacher was instilling years of gender inequality...no. There are many many many people in this world that understand it is polite for a man to hold a door for a woman (or again for anyone to hold the door for anyone) but that it is unacceptable to pay her 77 cents on the dollar for the same work or to force "barefoot and pregnant" as her only adulthood option. Because my husband is awesome (clearly) I'd like to hold him up as the example.Simple chivalry and serious gender equality are not mutually exclusive.
Dec 31, 2011
I was spammed. I think.
At work I deal with a lot of blog spam, especially when I first started and our filter system was pretty primitive. But that's just one of the casualties of having a popular blog, with SEO around terms that other people want to advertise to and being open to commentary. (Tangent: we changed to the Disqus commenting system that requires log-in and I would say our spam was reduced by about 80% plus our commenting system is now more interactive. But alas, I digress.)
Today though I got my first spam comment on here! Well, at least I think I did. Disqus email alerts me to comments and I woke up to this email.
Looks like spam to me. But get this - I can't find the comment anywhere but in my email. It's not showing on the post nor is it showing in the admin settings in Disqus. Strange right? Donde esta my spam?
Assuming though that I was spammed, I'm not sure if I should be irritated or pleased. On the one hand, nobody likes spam. On the other hand, does it mean this little blog is kinda a big deal now?
While I'm not totally convinced that this little blog is a big deal, I'm choosing to be pleased with my spam. I'm considering it a blogger milestone.
Today though I got my first spam comment on here! Well, at least I think I did. Disqus email alerts me to comments and I woke up to this email.
Looks like spam to me. But get this - I can't find the comment anywhere but in my email. It's not showing on the post nor is it showing in the admin settings in Disqus. Strange right? Donde esta my spam?
Assuming though that I was spammed, I'm not sure if I should be irritated or pleased. On the one hand, nobody likes spam. On the other hand, does it mean this little blog is kinda a big deal now?
While I'm not totally convinced that this little blog is a big deal, I'm choosing to be pleased with my spam. I'm considering it a blogger milestone.
Dec 22, 2011
(Love) Parenthesis
We've discussed my love of parenthesis before (see post). So imagine my excitement when I discovered this in my Google Reader today: 15 ways to use parentheses.
I know. Exciting isn't it? Here's a few of my favs, excerpted from the article
I know. Exciting isn't it? Here's a few of my favs, excerpted from the article
Examples, directions, explanations, and clarifications:As you can probably guess, numbers 8 and 9 are my most favorites. I use them (a bit too) often.
2. “At that point, you may want to consult with a professional. (Refer to the Resources chapter for a list of tax advisers.)”
Abbreviations (usually) after the first reference to the full version of the term:
6. “The country’s import and export levels are regulated by the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA).”
Modifying words or phrases, or interjections:
8. “The writer will (one hopes) produce well-crafted prose.”
9. “It turns out that he had (gasp!) told the truth.”
Nov 29, 2011
Thankful XXIX
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| Fav book as a kid |
Books are definitely something I have taken for granted all my life. First I was one of those kids lucky enough to grow up going to library storytime. In fact one of the best little kid pics of me is me grinning and clutching a reading certificate from the library. Can you say awesome?
Since my teen years I've been on a mission to have my own library. Public libraries are great and all but I like to write in my books and I really don't like to give them back. ...And I was really jealous of the way Belle from Beauty and the Beast got to swing around the library on a ladder. Thus I clearly need my own personal library and ladder.
Recently though my love for and constantly great access to books has been contrasted by an increasing awareness of kids who do not have books. This summer I heard about the United Way of Lake County which did a book drive for their community in response to the fact that 76% of incoming kindergarteners did not have books in their homes. I immediately started buying books as baby shower presents - my friends' kids will not be a statistic!
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| A local author and my most recent read |
I'm glad I can give these kids new books to read. Hopefully they'll discover a book that they just love and one day will tell their friends about how they too are thankful for books.
Nov 11, 2011
Thankful XI
There is so much to be thankful for but today I think I am going to be thankful for parenthesis.
They are possibly my favorite tool in my writing toolbox. They allow for asides, tangents and other quirks to be worked into writing so smoothly. Without parenthesis, I don't think my writing would have nearly as much personality. (Just look at my past posts.)
This is not the first time I've declared my love for this punctuation. Here's an excerpt from my work blog bio:
They are possibly my favorite tool in my writing toolbox. They allow for asides, tangents and other quirks to be worked into writing so smoothly. Without parenthesis, I don't think my writing would have nearly as much personality. (Just look at my past posts.)
This is not the first time I've declared my love for this punctuation. Here's an excerpt from my work blog bio:
When I'm not doing the social media thing, I enjoy hanging out with my husband and puppy, reading (especially Texas Monthly), going out to eat, volunteering and using parenthesis.
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