Warning: this blog post is not fluffy. It's about a real issue and is kinda serious in nature. Read at your own risk.
Monday night I had drinks and dinner with some fabulous former coworkers. Most of our meal was fun and fluffy but somehow we got to talking about a (hypothetical) predicament that we'd either seen amongst friends or in my case, had seen on Grey's Anatomy.
If you are in a serious relationship or marriage and you don't want kids but you get pregnant, what do you do? Compound that with the man in the relationship wanting kids.
On the one hand I'm pro-choice. But just because I believe in having the choice, doesn't mean I believe abortion is the right answer most the time or even half the time. The choice just exists. If you are married though (or in a very serious relationship, I'm just gonna keep saying "married" and "husband" for simplicity), is it just your choice? It is both of yours baby but you are the one who has to carry it in your body for 9 months. And even pregnancy aside, if you don't want to be a mother, should you have a baby for the sake of your husband? Is a kid whose mother doesn't want to be a mother going to have much of a shot?
We all agreed that it wasn't a decision you could make without talking to your husband. I would say though to some extent, that was where agreement ended. Personally I view it as someone having to give in (though I don't really like that phrase in this instance). Either you are going to agree to have the baby against your initial desires and hope it all turns out OK or he is going to agree to let you have an abortion. Or you are going to tell him that you hear him, you understand he wants a baby but you cannot compromise and you are not having a baby. Let's face it, at the end of the day there's not really a compromise in this situation; you can't have half a baby.
It's really a no win situation. But know it is a no-win situation, what do you do?
Personally, I'm just thank my lucky stars, the baby-gods and the marriage-gods that my hubs and I are on the same page. No we're not quite ready to become parents but if I woke up pregnant tomorrow (extremely unlikely), eh so we'd become parents sooner than expected. It'd be fine.
But what do you think? How should one handle the uncompromising nature of having children or not having them?