May 10, 2009

The Rules of Engagement

When we first got engaged, I heard two bits of advice:
  1. Elope.
  2. If you insist on having a "traditional" wedding, hire a wedding planner.
I did neither and now think both are swell ideas.

Understand, I'm very excited to get married. I love Ross with my whole heart and can't wait to officially be his wife. We make a great team. We have a wonderful life together and I know the best is yet to come.

But holy cow, weddings are stressful. Whether its because you can't decide on napkins or because you really want to please everyone (because you do love them all), its stressful. That said, after being engaged for more than a year, I have a few rules of engagement for all brides. I'm even going to try to follow them myself.
  1. Become a team: Start practicing for life as a team now. There's no time like the present and it sure is nice to have someone on your side with any decision.
  2. Set your priorities: Figure out what you want to invest time and money in and stick to it the best you can. When we first got engaged, I said 3 priorities: getting married, having fun and one more I can't remember any more. That shows you how important the last one was. Well I still want to have fun by all means but now I'm really only asking "Will this make us any more or less married?" Getting the minister to contact us seems to be the only to-do that really qualifies as important given this priority. But, for the record, this is the rule of engagement I'm worst at. I'm still debating flower arrangements even though they don't impact our wedded bliss.
  3. Remember why you are getting married: I don't know that we consciously do this but even after price-comparing honeymoons and tackling the finances of it all, I know I still want to marry Ross more than anything. The wedding stuff may stress us (me) out but we still want to marry each other. I think that's pretty important.
There you have it. In all my infinite wisdom, those are my rules of engagement. I'm going to try to focus on number 2 a little more and let the details just work themselves out. In the end, so long as I become Mrs. Cheryl Black, not a whole lot else matters.

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