Non-Planning

To most of you who know me, this will come as a bit of a surprise. Heck, it surprises me.

For the first time ever, I've got something on the horizon (ie Baby) and I am not feeling plan-y at all.

Case in point: I don't have a single book on infants. I don't think I read the whole section in my pregnancy book on first trimesters. I have not begun the section on second trimesters. When I bought a pregnancy journal, I wanted (and got) a more reflective one, not a planning one. I don't have a single "before baby" check list.

Caveat to that last point: I have a few big things on my mental "before baby" check list. But that is limited to what feels pretty obvious like pick a name, have a nursery, let the boss know and the most plan-y of all, have some immediate childcare in queue.

(This last one is more important than you may know as infant childcare often requires getting on waiting lists as early as the second trimester. Fortunately since Nancy is a teacher, we're all in agreement that she will step in during the summer to help which means we are all squared away until August 2013. I have no idea what my plan beyond that is but I'm comfortable with that.)

I think given all the things I could have on a checklist, having it limited to a simple four is pretty impressive. Especially for me.

I'm really hoping this is a sign of my mothering style. I'm hoping that somewhere in my core and instincts I know that babies and plans aren't exactly peanut butter and jelly. That I'll just have to roll with the punches. I also hope this means that mothering will be natural to me because I also don't feel freaked out by the idea of having a little tiny person to care for.*

Of course, I reserve the right to start freaking out and/or planning at any juncture. But for now, I'm pretty pleased with this surprising dose of go with the flow.

*I do however have a healthy amount of freaked outed-ness about the actual labor and delivery (not that the baby will be OK, that I'm sure will be fine. More about my pain tolerance). I'm not the first woman to have a baby so I'm sure it will all be fine but come on, you can't tell me that looks like fun.